If Chapel Hill bars were college students

To say bars don’t have their own personalities would be wrong. You can sense it from the smell as you walk in the door, the stickiness of the menus and the array of characters that you meet that no two bars are the same. If these Chapel Hill bars that we know and love were students, who would they be?

Linda’s 

• Listens to classic rock
• Super laid-back
• Wears a lot of flannels
• Really likes beer and likes appearing to like beer

Top of the Hill 

• Grad student
• Dresses business casual every day just to one-up everyone else
• Is known to go out and have “tee many martoonis”
• Can’t live without UNC sports

Four Corners and Spanky’s 

• The loveable twins that everyone crushes on
• Fun-loving but also super serious about sports
• Spanky’s is the slightly smarter twin, but Four Corners is the sweet, lovable one

He’s Not Here 

• Total bro
• Doesn’t really like beer, but that’s all it drinks because it’s not liquor
• Class clown
• Rowdy constantly
• Probably should shower more

Goodfellow’s 

• Those who don’t know him think he’s sketchy, but he’s really down to earth
• Sometimes anti-social
• Has a smooth, yet somewhat raspy voice
• All about the “work hard, play hard” mentality

Carolina Coffee Shop 

• Even more “work hard, play hard” than Goodfellow’s
• Flies under the radar
• Loves Instagramming its coffee and commenting on how basic it is for doing so
• Sweet and warm-hearted

Country Fried Duck 

• Loves country music #duh
• Finds the mechanical bull at any party, but is usually too drunk to get on it
• Is totally loveable but very “smh"-able
• 100 percent undergrad

Pantana Bob’s 

• Favorite band is Dave Matthews
• Really loves singing "Wagon Wheel" when drunk
• Open book with a ton of great stories
• Loves being outside, but also isn’t really the “nature” type

TRU 

• Wine all day every day
• Odd mix between edgy and basic
• Wears a lot of dark colors and soft tones
• Eats “organically” but it's still not really sure what that means

The Library 

• Secret intellectual who really likes to party
• Charitable and loves a good benefit night out for a good cause
• Loves karaoke despite not being very good at it

Fitzgerald’s 

• Foreign exchange student from Ireland
• Went home early and no one actually knows why
• Super friendly and outgoing — the kid who seems to know everyone
• People still reminisce over how fun he was

They are the college students that never grow up. They are the ones that you love, despite their questionable decision-making. Long live the bars of Chapel Hill.

@nicolamcirvine

swerve@dailytarheel.com