Have 'the talk' to prepare for unexpected situations

 

Less than a year ago, a group of students went to a slightly off-campus open house party in Chapel Hill. They dumped coats and bags in an upstairs room. Some people carried phones and cameras back to the party scene, leaving the digital goodies on tables or chairs as they mingled.

And someone else swept through the party, picking up unattended cameras and phones and taking wallets and other phones from bags in the upstairs room.

Recovering the digital goodies was generally hopeless.   So when the dean of students warns that crime exists in Chapel Hill, believe it. And as the annual migration back to campus settles in, parents and students should have the talks to be ready for unexpected situations.   This post isn’t meant to scare anyone; rather, it’s just one more checklist for making sure all the bases are covered.    The checklist:  Have the money talk: Whatever the rules are, make sure they’re clear. Who pays if something of value gets lost or stolen? What happens if a student’s weekly or monthly cash allowance runs out? Make sure the student knows that emergency loans are available through the student aid office, if necessary. Make sure the student knows what can happen if they fall into too much personal debt during school. Make sure they know about overdraft charges from banks.    Have the health and insurance talk: Make sure a student knows how to access student health services and how to pay for services and use any insurance cards. Make sure the student has insurance cards or copies.    Make copies of all important papers and keep them at home: Start with what’s in the student’s wallet, or equivalent thereof. Yes, copy the driver’s license, the insurance card, the One card, auto registration and title if the student has a car in Chapel Hill. Copy a passport if the student has to take it for study abroad.    Have the crime talk: Walk in groups. Use a buddy system, and watch out for your buddies through entire evenings out. And students: Consider signing up for a defense class. University public safety officers teach half-day classes for students and employees, with details The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company is offering a back to school 50 percent discount on classes that include hand-to-hand combat through September for groups of women with 10 to 20 members. Group organizers get a free class. Details are here, and a video of a 2008 class for ninth grade girls illustrates the program’s power.    Have the keep-in-touch talk: The dean of students often reminds parents and students about this point during orientation, but it’s worth revisiting every year. How often will parents expect to hear from students? How often will students expect to hear from parents? Is a text message enough? What do parents do if they haven’t heard from a student within an expected time period? Make sure the student knows parental expectations (and vice versa.)    Make plans to visit: Go over the school calendar and make plans to visit for the special occasions: fall break, Halloween and Parents’ Weekend.   Parents of first-year students, in particular, ought to plan to be there for parents’ weekend. It’s generally deep enough into the semester for the students to be settled, but not too late for words of encouragement and advice. This year, it’s Oct. 2 to Oct. 4. Details here.