Satire: Lee Roberts accidentally texted me his hair plans
"The world found out shortly before 11 a.m. Eastern Time on March 15 that Lee Roberts was changing his staple swoop that was, until now, delicately greased over to the side. I, however, knew 12 hours before he stepped out of South Building that this was coming. This is because Lee Roberts accidentally texted me this plan at 11 p.m. the night before."