Canceling Show Will Not Cancel Sexual Repression

Take two recent news stories, for example. WRAZ-TV, the Raleigh Fox network affiliate, decided to pull the controversial "Temptation Island"off its programming lineup last week.

Their reasoning: ethical qualms about the fact that one of the couples had hidden the fact they had a child together from the show's producers. (That is against the rules, and the couple was kicked off when it was discovered.)

It's an understandable motivation. No one would like to see a family break up before their very eyes, though it happens in our society all the time.

So who would criticize the decision?

Me.

If television networks decide to pick up a conscience, why not apply that ethical standard across the board? WRAZ-TV broadcasts Ricki Lake's talk show. How many families has that show interfered with and ruined? What about Jerry Springer? Jenny Jones?

There are plenty of shows on television that are affronts to our idealized idea of a puritan society.

But "Temptation Island" made the mistake of crossing a different line than others: It was not afraid to be in your face with sexuality.

Attractive men and women are dressed in skimpy bathing suits and prance about a tropical paradise with the mission of seducing the couples who came to the island to test their relationships' resolve. Sounds a little like MTV's Spring Break to me.

But the unabashedly sexual overtones to the show were enough to have WRAZ-TV yank it off the air -- and feign its own morality.

Another sign of our stigmatization of sex: Jesse Jackson. Last week, he admitted fathering an illegitimate child out of wedlock. Not exactly the behavior we would expect from a principled man but not a capital offense either.

Jackson has a lot of trust to rebuild with his family, but the most interesting aspect of the story, I found, concerned his job.

Cirilo McSween, a board member of Jackson's civil rights group the Rainbow-PUSH Coalition, said the organization may replace Jackson as head of the group for the short term. How does the news of his child change his ability to lead the group?

It doesn't.

But what it does hurt is his public standing. He committed a sexual act (outside of his marriage) that our society frowns heavily upon though commits with frequency. Thus, he now has his own version of a scarlet letter plastered to his chest and must retreat into obscurity until we move on to condemning another public figure.

We are a schizophrenic society that both craves salacious news that deals with sex and loathes ourself for it. We know every juicy detail of gossip about our neighbors, our friends and our public figures. We all have our own "little secrets," but we are quick to condemn non-puritan behavior with zeal.

We like to keep sex and sexuality hidden. Sex should be in the bedroom, with the lights off in the missionary position between a husband and a wife (though very few live up to that "sexual standard".)

No one admits to masturbation and the very word elicits blushes of embarrassment and shame.

We make up childish words for sexual words such as "vagina" and "penis" in order to save ourselves discomfort.

Pornography has flourished on the Internet because it offers an anonymous outlet for our sexual frustrations -- you can close the blinds, shut the door, log on and get off. No longer do you have to venture into an adult video store -- a public space - to satisfy those particular desires.

So let's all thank Al Gore for inventing the medium that provides for our cyberlust.

But perhaps our most dangerous repression comes in the stigmatization of different sexualities.

With the level of disapproval and condemnation of homosexuality, it's no wonder so many people are closeted and repress their sexual desires.

Gays and lesbians are not the only ones dealing with repression though. Many heterosexuals hide their different sexual fetishes in shame, for fear of judgment by others (who have their own fetishes that they cover up as well).

Instead, we should embrace our sexuality and come to terms with it. People jokingly ask, "If sex is so bad, why did God make it feel so good?" But it was society, not God, that decided it would attach social stigmas to sex. There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex. Most of us could use a little more of it.

We've crossed a line in the sand and refused to accept the notion that, yes, you can enjoy sex without feeling shame or embarrassment. So we shun anything that makes us feel sexually aroused because the morals of our society have mandated it -- though sex has become such a staple of popular culture.

Women who dress too provocatively are labeled as "whores" or "sluts." Gay men who are not masculine enough are "flaming." And lesbians who do not act dainty enough are "butch."

We deride them because they don't try to hide their sexuality. They don't accept society's rules regarding eroticism by keeping it under wraps. They are in our face with something that we would rather not confront.

That brings me back to "Temptation Island."

It has been editorialized against all over the nation. But it should be applauded. It may seem trivial, but shows such as this help to lift up some of our sexual repression by forcing us to face our hang-ups.

And the more you dispel sexual repression and shame, the fewer social tensions you create in the United States.

Jonathan Chaney is a junior political science major from Concord who loves sex with the lights turned on. Send him links to free porn Web sites at jhchaney@email.unc.edu.