Apparently there is some Hollywood producer out there throwing money at any trite, asinine hemorrhoid of a script containing a reference to teenagers in cheerleader outfits.
One might suspect, after the unpleasant experience of watching "Bring It On," that it was the worst movie ever made, and one might breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that you will never again be subjected to such a horrific ordeal.
However, Francine McDougall must have seen something different in "Bring It On." While one can only speculate, it seems as though McDougall saw the movie and thought, "Wow! What a great film! I wish I could make a movie that was HALF as good." Then, she did.
Armed with a handful of fairly attractive actors and an extremely dated grasp of teen slang, McDougall sloppily threw together a tale of five cheerleaders- turned-bank-robbers. The team is led by head cheerleader and mom-to-be Diane, who is carrying the child of the football team's star quarterback, Jack.
Yes, it's the story of Jack and Diane. John Mellencamp is rolling over in his grave (He's not dead, but his career is).
As far as plot twists or subplots, there are none. In fact, the commercials give away the whole movie in that they show cheerleaders talking, then robbing a bank.
Utilizing a "novel" method of plot development referred to as a "police deposition," similar to the one used in "The Usual Suspects," the scenes are carelessly cut-and-pasted into a jagged collage of uninteresting quasi-action.
The characters were as engaging as a piece of wet cardboard, with McDougall even giving them nicknames like "The Rebel" to cement their pointless cliches-for-personalities in the minds of the audience. And by "audience," I refer to those who were still paying attention after the yearbook-photo opening sequence, ripped off from a list of far superior bad movies such as "Can't Hardly Wait."
If there were anything positive you could take away from this movie, which is highly dubious, it is perhaps a reaffirmation of Shakespeare's classic query, "Would not a rose, by any other name, still smell as sweet?" In this case, the question is, "Would not a piece of crap, even when adorned with short skirts and pompoms, still smell like shit?"
