Stuart Scott is speaking at graduation, a man who is as cool as the other side of the pillow.
The people will come in droves, I predict, filling nearly every seat in Kenan Stadium, ears pricked in anticipation for what words of wisdom might tumble forth from the lips of the best announcer, bar none, on ESPN.
Seniors from the days of yesteryear will no doubt curse the academic aptitude that allowed them to graduate before May 2001. And they have good reason to. Because the speakers of graduations past sucked.
They certainly had big names (well, some did, in particular circles) and had good messages (well, some of them harshed the graduation mellow). They gave it the old college try.
But there was a reason most of the parents were zoning out and changing the film in their cameras as said speakers delivered a veritable cornucopia of pointers for the twenty-somethings on the move.
Seniors passed the time napping on the shoulder of the person next to them, only retreating from their postdrunken haze to halfheartedly knock the inevitable beach ball.
I understand that those lucky few chosen to wear the caps and gowns might have attended a UNC graduation in years past, and they know what I'm talking about.
But the rest of you have no frame of reference for how bad past graduation speakers were, and thus, how terrific Stuart Scott will be.
So here I present your guide, CliffsNotes style, to those who have graced the lawn of Kenan and welcomed Tar Heels into the real world.
