Warning: Under 18 May Not Read

That, my dear peeps, is from Madonna's controversial "Sex" book. Upon its arrival in 1992, everyone went crazy. For the most part, people seemed to agree that Madonna had simply gone too far that time.

Society at large tied her to the whipping post, so to speak.

The oversized picture-book sold for a whopping $50. And because of its graphic sexual content, only adults could purchase it.

So what in the hell was everyone so upset with? Being the obsessed Madonna fan that I am, of course I have a copy of the book. Let me give you a taste of what it's all about.

Parts of the book are extremely erotic. Other parts are just downright hilarious. Madonna takes on the personae of a fantasy mistress-type known as Dita to guide you through the book.

In one of the funnier excerpts, a doctor asks, "Do you feel that it is possible to experience pleasure and pain at the same time?" Dita answers, "Sure! That's what ass-fucking is all about. It's the most pleasurable way to get fucked, and it hurts the most too. All your nerve endings are in your ass, but if you're not excited, or if you're not doing it right, things can really go wrong."

A more reflective section reads, "Sometimes I sit at the edge of the bed and spread my legs. And stare into the mirror and wonder what others see. Sometimes I stick my finger in my pussy and wiggle it around the dark wetness and feel what a cock or a tongue must feel when I'm sitting on it."

And let's not forget the visuals. Throughout "Sex," we find Dita in all sorts of naughty play.

If you're into bondage, Dita will start you off right! She begins her fantasy sequence amid leather-clad, bald lesbians who don't hesitate to tie her up.

Later in the book, Dita is caught shaving a man's pubic hair. A few pages after that, she appears in a room full of naked men fondling each other. In another section, Dita dresses up in drag to play kissing games with other girls.

Shocked yet?

Back in 1992, people sure were, even though everyone expected Madonna to push the envelope. Throughout her career, she's brought issues of sexual expression to the mainstream in her own unique way. But with her book of explicit fantasies, critics suddenly labeled Madonna as a sex-crazed whore.

Oh, but I suppose when Hugh Hefner makes millions of dollars off his monthly Playboy Magazine, it's totally different, right?

There's a lot of cash being made in the adult entertainment world right now, and we revere men like Hefner who profit by presenting the world with pictures of nude women for masturbatory purposes.

But when Madonna, a woman, presented her own collection of sexually explicit material, everyone freaked out. Are we that scared of a woman so thoroughly in control of her own sexuality?

In an extremely male-dominated society, Madonna demands the same rights that men receive. With "Sex" she displayed feminism in its finest form. She's dealing with female sexuality from her own perspective.

The book shows us what should be obvious: Women are sexual beings who experience just as many cravings and fantasies as men. And they should be just as free as men are to express those desires.

But instead when a woman takes sexual license with her own body or openly talks about sex, we are quick to call her a tramp.

Some would argue it was Madonna's extreme explicit content that caused such a backlash against her. But the fact of the matter is simple: If you weren't interested in experiencing Madonna's collection of sexual fantasies, you didn't have to buy the book.

Its title is short and simple: "Sex." The book opens with a disclaimer stating: "This book is about sex. Sex is not love. Love is not sex ... Everything you are about to see and read is a fantasy, a dream, pretend."

In other words, the book wasn't meant to be taken as a literal portrayal of Madonna's sex life. It's a book exploring sexual fantasy.

And despite the fact that everyone has his or her own naughty collection of fantasies, Madonna knew people would freak out when she presented her fantasy sequences in such an explicit manner.

Madonna actually counted on everyone freaking out. She realizes the hypocrisy associated with the American public. We're all sexual beings, yet we're scared to admit that fact. Overall, the "Sex" book serves as Madonna's huge "fuck you" to anyone in denial of his or her innermost sexual nature.

At the end of the book, Madonna writes, "A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want."

Instead of condemning Madonna, we should praise her for having the balls to so boldly fight sexual repression -- for men and women alike.

Need to express yourself? Send naughty tales to Cameron at mitchel6@email.unc.edu.