Sick Puppies
Students haven't been too concerned about reduced hours at Student Health Services, but they're still pressing for the addition of a Hangover Clinic.
Line 'Em Up
Thousands of students stood in line to get tickets to Saturday's game against East Carolina University. ECU students, meanwhile, lined up to get permission from their parole officers to come to the game.
We're Number One
The Board of Trustees announced that the University made $3 million in licensing this year. All thanks to underpaid foreign kids chained to sewing machines.
Tar Heel Quotables
"The pay is good enough for this to be my main job."
Drag Queen Valarie Rockwell
On the financial benefits of her job. We knew we should have majored in cross-dressing instead of English.
"All three are fabulous choices."
Senior Class Vice President Ursula Dimmling
Commenting on the options for this year's class gift: a monument, a marquee and a scholarship. What, no killer sharks and electric eels for our giant fish tank?
"It was very uncomfortable and creepy."
Chi Omega House Mother Lee Law
Commenting on a peeping Tom incident at her sorority house. Clearly this guy has never heard of the Internet.
