NFL Fantasy Leagues Full Of Fanatics

The smack-talking, the prognostication, the tinkering with lineups -- they've all led up to this moment.

Fantasy football season is upon us.

Let the dorkery begin.

With last Thursday's New York Giants-San Francisco 49ers matchup, fantasy team owners everywhere began their ritual firing up of computers, checking of their players' stats, rooting out their lineup's weak links and searching for the blue-chip talent that initially evaded their gaze.

Sure, the NFL is a big deal these days, and I suppose the guys who make up the "real" teams probably have much more of a vested interest in the "real" games they play.

But don't tell that to the thousands of fantasy team owners around the nation who, come every Sunday, prime themselves for their public or private-access, head-to-head or points leagues housed by sites like Yahoo.com and espn.com.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and extol the virtues of an Internet-free life, or give instructions as to how you can slip out of the life-sucking noose that is fantasy football.

How could I, considering that as I write, the homepage of Yahoo! private league #61541 is open on the computer screen before me?

Instead, I think it would be more appropriate if I shed some light on exactly what fantasy leagues are and how truly weird they are.

According to a letter posted on the National Fantasy Football Center Web site by James Mesick, the NFFC commissioner (imagine what this guy is like), fantasy football is "all about having fun."

Fun indeed. If fantasy football is about having fun, why are people so insane about it?

Take my fantasy league, for example. Unlike other leagues in which I have participated in the past, the draft for players in the league was live, instead of computer-driven.

Think about that for a second. For an automated draft, it takes about 20 minutes out of your day to make a list of the players you'd like to draft, and then the computer does all of the work. If your highest-ranked player is drafted, it will draft your next highest-ranked player for you.

A live draft has a whole different, and completely more pathetic, feel. The 10 team owners in our league sat around one Sunday afternoon in the commissioner's living room, and we actually went through 18 rounds of drafting.

Everyone had a draft board and took note of the other teams' picks. Everyone nodded at the perceived good picks, smirked at the bad ones and uttered a quick "Damn!" when other teams selected the players they wanted.

This, it seemed, was not normal behavior. Then again, there I was, nodding, smirking and uttering just like everyone else. For all two and a half hours of the draft.

And what for? To join a league that you probably won't win, that initially will sap your spare time and your energy, and that eventually you'll stop paying attention to anyway?

For plenty of people, though, this is a good time. No, check that. A great time.

So much so that people like to cheat at it. The fantasy football Web page at Yahoo! reveals a link to the site rules, which include this disclaimer: Even though fantasy games are meant to be a competitive experience for all involved, it is important to us that our users not lose sight of the rules of fair play and good sportsmanship.

What says "fun" like being reminded not to lie and cheat your way to victory?

But tonight, as I check the scores one last time, it seems as though I'm winning this week's matchup.

One win, no losses, so far. Maybe this isn't so bad, after all.

Or perhaps I'm too much of a loser to see how strange this has become.

Ian Gordon can be reached at igordon@email.unc.edu.