The Daily Tar Heel
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The Daily Tar Heel

Reality provides TV's top material

Drama has its place. Filmmakers stuff their stock with it; novelists pour it on like gravy; Shakespeare's got it in spades.

Dramatic conflict is the driving force behind the world's most meaningful entertainment, and when it's done right, there's an emotional hook that's concrete, contextual and powerful.

It taps into some semblance of what it feels like to be hopeful, heartbroken and human. It has a resonance that feels familiar.

It might not be real life, but it's close.

Cinema accomplishes true drama through its almost limitless, free-form potential and instant accessibility. And there's a lot to be said for good cinematography.

Theater was founded on drama, the simplicity of humans acting and reacting in reality. Viewers are personally and profoundly involved just by being there.

Novels are the best. No other media engages the you in such a raw, clean fashion. Drama and conflict are felt through a sort of psychic transportation - a fusion of two individual imaginations.

That's why I hate "E.R." That's why "Touched by an Angel" is biblical diarrhea. That's why Jerry Bruckheimer should be tied to the Hollywood sign and burned alive, his limbs shipped to Peter Engel and Jonathan Murray as a warning.

Trying to capture true drama in a half-hour or even an hourlong television show is like trying to catch a butterfly with a tennis racket.

It swings wildly at the idea, brandishing the belief that hitting the audience with death, drugs, love or hope is the same as nurturing an emotional investment.

The brutality, fragmentation and patness of television make it impossible to convey real feeling.

Advertisements crowd the narrative line. Brevity rushes epiphanies. Network censorship saps away at truth and humanity. Sorry, television, you just don't stand a chance.

But we did save you a seat on the short bus.

Dumb, violent, lowbrow programming is television's true saving grace. Yes, I understand the inherent negation of dumb grace.

And thankfully, there's a whole army of shows capitalizing on human stupidity and a lack of basic motor skills.

Shows like "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge," a screwy interpretation of the '80s Japanese import "Takeshi's Castle," are perfect. "Real TV," which features videos of things blowing up, people falling down and people blowing up while falling down, is dead on.

"The Real World v. Road Rules" shows (take your pick) should be commended for their unveiled sexuality, dehumanizing challenges and repetitive casting of the same ox-headed jocks, stumbling drunks and

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