Parents target trials of raising teens

Local high school organizations sponsored a forum Monday night, with the goal of educating parents about different ways to communicate effectively with their teenagers.

The parent-teacher student associations and school governance committees of both Chapel Hill-Carrboro City high schools sponsored “Helping Parents Help Our Teens,” to help parents face many of the issues of raising a teen.

“The difficulty of raising a teen is a common problem,” said Henry Greenside, organizer of the forum and member of both the PTSA and SGC at East Chapel Hill High. “Many parents don’t have the skills to know what to do.”

The PTSA and SGC at each school typically sponsor several smaller forums each school year.

But Monday’s forum included several participants from both high schools and the community — a trend they hope to continue in the future, Greenside said.

Greenside recruited several prominent figures from the schools and community to give recommendations and information for parents and to answer audience questions during the forum.

The panelists included Mauricio Castro, founder of El Centro Latino in Carrboro; Anson Dorrance, head coach of the UNC women’s soccer team; and Calvin Allen, former associate director of the Dispute Settlement Center of Orange County.

Ruby Bugg, a student assistance specialist at East Chapel Hill High, emphasized the importance of responsibility in her five-minute presentation to the audience.

“Do not take ownership for every decision your child makes (because) it’s part of growing up. … There are different choices, and they have different costs,” she said. “It’s what you do after those mistakes and how you use that to go forward.”

Another concept Bugg and the other panelists stressed was the need for parents to create a plan of action with their teens about how they will approach issues that might arise.

“Have a plan before you need it,” she said. “Talk to your kids when you don’t need to. Don’t wait until things happen.”

And most parents were enthusiastic about what the panel said.

Michael Williamson, father of a 16-year-old at East Chapel Hill High, said he hopes to implement some of the recommendations made at the forum.

“The challenge we are facing is not unique to my daughter or my family. There are lots of other people in the same boat,” he said. “We got access to some ideas that we’re gonna try.”

The panel members stressed the need to approach parental communication with their teens from various angles.

“We need to be a team: parents, the school and your child,” said Mary Gratch, a student counselor at Chapel Hill High and parent of two high-school students.

Gratch said she benefits from having the ability to have a dual perspective as a parent and counselor.

“It’s extra motivation that it’s my community. … These parents are my peers. It doesn’t feel like a conflict (of interest), it makes it more important to me.”

Contact the City Editor at citydesk@unc.edu.