A seat at the table

Not until his sophomore year in college did Scott Wilson get to know a gay student.

""I grew up in a really small town"" said the Whiteville native. You have these presumptions that gay people are this way … and they're not.""

Wilson's presumptions shattered when three gay students joined his club gymnastics team last year.

""It kind of made me see that it's not bad; it just is"" Wilson said.

He came out in May.

Wilson still didn't have a group to identify with. But he soon started sitting outside Lenoir Dining Hall with two friends in August.

By mid-September, their three-person lunch gathering had grown into a social hub now known as the gayble."" It grew to around four tables with 15 people" he said.

About five guys sit at the gayble throughout the day. Others including straight friends float in and out" peaking around lunch hours.

""It had gotten to where it was like you had to make an appearance here as a member of this community" he said.

But the table is more than a social spot.

We have so many different ways of life all converging around this one commonality amongst us explained Wilson. And how it's different for each person how each family has a different reaction to it" different dating experiences.""

The table has provided Wilson support during the college equivalent of his adolescent years.

""When you're gay and you don't come out until later" all of that six or seven years of emotional development kind of gets crammed into one or two years he explained.

So Wilson recently went on his first date at the age of 20.

When my sister was going on her first date my mother helped her pick out what she should wear and helped her think of things she should say" he said. They kind of did that for me a little bit.""

Having a place like the gayble would have helped Wilson feel comfortable coming out earlier"" he said.

""It was kind of something I was dealing with on my own — and not very well.""

Wilson said the table is the kind of safe haven for expression and visibility that could've helped him come out sooner.

""I would've been able to say ‘maybe it's not bad that I'm this way.'""

Students seek this kind of visibility before coming out" said Terri Phoenix director of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Queer Center.

Discrimination against gays still exists at UNC despite its liberal reputation Phoenix said" referring in particular to an incident of assault in 2005.

""It creates this climate where it's kind of intimidating to come out"" she said. People really feel like they are second-class citizens.""

First-year Cameron Parker said the gayble provides a relaxed environment where he can talk openly.

Discussion ranges from light-hearted conversation to political debates and advice on coming out.

""It's kind of like ‘The View""'"" Wilson said. ""We have the crazy liberals" like me" and then you have the crazy conservatives.""

A few months ago it was just another wobbly table outside Lenoir. But for several gay students on campus"" it has become a way to connect with a community.

""I think it fosters a sense of cohesiveness that hasn't necessarily been there before"" Wilson said. Everyone kind of yearns for something like that.""



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