Miss USA
Kristen Dalton of Wilmington edged out Miss California for the Miss USA title after a gay marriage gaff some say ""outed"" her chances of winning. Just more proof that Carolina girls really are best in the world.
Unpaid Interships
The summer-internship/part-time-job combo is never an ideal way to spend the summer. Employers"" please get with the program and at least give us minimum wage.
Pirates
With international assistance"" the French navy handed over 11 more suspected pirates to Kenyan authorities yesterday. ""Long John Silver Does the Horn of Africa"" is slowly coming to a end.
Saudi Arabia
The Saudi Arabian embassy just invited Durham Mayor Bill Bell on a trip to its country. We would have preferred Mayor Foy — we think the Saudis may secretly be Dookies.
Susan Boyle
Overnight Internet sensation Susan Boyle wowed us with her rendition of ""I Dreamed a Dream"" on ""Britain's Got Talent."" We can't wait to see what else you've got in store.
Barf bags
We're thrilled that Student Body President Jasmin Jones is trying to get barf bags on the P2P. Now the only problem will be getting students to use them.
