It is the magical time of the decade when Olympic programming intersects with movie award show season.
The world and I are united behind Morgan Freeman in “Invictus” and Morgan Freeman in those Visa commercials; “Up in the Air” and those freestyle aerialists up in the air; and snowboarding’s Double McTwist 1260 and McDonald’s McFlurry with M&M’s. In honor of these heroes of both slope and screen, I give you the award winners of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics.
Best Actor: Johnny Weir. I love the American figure skater from the end of his pink shoulder tassel to the last strand of his Russophile mullet. But mostly I love him for standing up for himself when two Canadian television broadcasters said that he set a bad example for boys aspiring in the sport, as well as joked that he should take a gender test. His response was honest and direct: “I think masculinity is what you believe it to be.”
Best Actress: Kristie Moore (the pregnant Canadian curler). I am a big fan of anyone who rocks the baby belly proudly, but especially of someone pushing granite slabs across ice. And she got the silver medal! Not an easy thing to press into the baby book, but what a cool memento to share with your kid.
Best Supporting Actor: Stephen Colbert. When DSB Bank NV declared bankruptcy in October, the U.S. speed skating team was uncertain of what would happen without its largest financial sponsor. Up steps the “Colbert Report” comedian, and soon thousands of members of Colbert Nation were showing how if everyone pitches in a little, a lot gets done. Speaking of supporting, Colbert also asked the tough questions, such as “What do you wear under those skin-tight suits?”
Best Supporting Actress: alpine skier Lindsey Vonn’s eyelashes. Seriously, how do these athletes look so good after crossing the finish line or completing a program? I’d be bent over like an asthmatic dinosaur with a face as a red as Shaun White’s hair. Somehow these women seem to have all their bedazzled nude mesh in place and their cheeks looking flush as if they’ve been riding in a one-horse open sleigh.
Best sound effects: Scott Hamilton. The former Olympic skater “oohs!” when skaters fall and shrieks when they succeed. And in one amazing moment, he even growled like a cat to describe a Russian skater’s feline-like ability to land his jumps.
Best Choreography: Bobsledders. I saw some of you all sledding on Lenoir Dining Hall trays during the snow storms. None of us have the coordination to run and seamlessly jump onto an oversized sled alone, let alone four people.
The Olympics and movies give us hope that we can find triumph in our everyday. I hope that when tragedy touches my life, I’ll be able to take to the ice like bronze-medal winning figure skater Joannie Rochette. I hope when I’m reaching 60, I’ll have as many awesome accomplishments as Meryl Streep, or perhaps simply just be starting out on my major one, like Julia Child. We might not get to rock the red carpet boat like Gabourey Sidibe with some stunning non-sample size gowns, or skate short track like Apolo Ohno, but we can find the statuettes and medals in our own accomplishments.
Fuller is a second-year journalism graduate student from Greensboro. Email her at jvfuller@email.unc.edu
