At first, when the 32-year-old son of my host parents came by the apartment for lunch, I assumed that it was perhaps a special occasion or that he was just stopping by to meet their new American tenant. Later, I thought nothing of the fact that his car was parked outside every weekday and that aside from eating lunch he also showered and took a nap on what host parents still refer to as (his bed) even though he lives in a nearby suburb with his sister.
Likewise, the first few times that my host parents’ daughter dropped off their infant grandson for extended periods of baby-sitting, my initial thought was that this was some sort of temporary arrangement. When this happened several times a week for months, I became suspicious, but I did not know for sure.
I finally got the picture on family here, though, when I realized that the whole family — my host parents and their three adult children and their (significant others) — were regularly getting together every Sunday afternoon to eat, drink and be merry. It was remarkable to me first that they all live close enough geographically to do so, and second that they would consistently make time for such a gathering.
After this revelation I started noticing other traits that seem to characterize families here. Most of our Argentine peers live with their families through their college years. It’s an arrangement that many of us can hardly imagine: College without moving away from our hometown, high school and household, and without settling into a different city with new friends or freedom from parental supervision.
To make matters worse, most young adults do not even leave home after they graduate, generally being content to (stay at home) until they are married and even then do not seem to want to go too far afield, preferring to settle down as close to their parents as they can.
This is a far cry from what my post-graduation plans are. I have never once considered settling down near my parents to be a priority. And to be honest, Americans — who are raised in a culture of semi-annual road trips to grandma’s house and the dream of self-sufficient college life — initially scoff at this arrangement.
Simply put, we moved our stuff from the house of our parents and into one of these brick buildings at least partially to get away from home. Now, having tasted life on our own, the thought of moving back in with our parents after graduation, while maybe not repugnant, is almost certainly not high on the lists of things we want to do. Though that may be the reality for many of us.
Being exposed to a very different filial paradigm here has given pause to many of my American —i.e. independent — career-minded, nomadic and nuclear family-oriented sentiments, though.
Why is it that leaving home as a teenager, thereafter only to return as a temporary sojourner, is the cause célèbre that it is?
