There are a number of ways to improve your sex life. You can communicate more with your partner, introduce some romance or role-play, or download a Position-of-the-Day app to your phone. Yes, there are at least four of them.
But we have another option that is often forgotten or avoided: the industrious, illustrious sex toy.
Sex toys have traditionally gotten a bad rap. People who assign shame to sex also assign shame to sex toys, and so sex toy stores have become “Oh, I’m just getting something for this bachelor/bachelorette party” places — like a glorified Spencer’s. To be sure, some stores are really just shady or distasteful.
Also, some people consider owning a sex toy to mean that you are either sexually hyperactive in a naughty nympho way, or sexually inadequate in a limp loner way.
Fortunately, more and more people are opening up to the idea. According to a 2009 survey conducted by researchers at Indiana University, 53 percent of women and 45 percent of men have used a vibrator. Another 2004 survey by the Berman Center found that nine out of ten females who use sex toys were comfortable talking about it with their partners, and two out of three said that their partners were supportive.
But hark, I hear the objecting cry, “Won’t I get replaced by a toy?”
No, this isn’t Rise of the Machines. It’s not like if everyone has a sex toy, then we’re all going to stop having sex with each other.
The same Berman survey found that 78 percent of female sex toy users were in relationships and did not consider the toy to be a substitute but a complement.
Think of toys more as sexual aids. They’re not meant to replace sex or intimacy, but to enhance it.
