”You have such a hipster fetish. You are to hipsters as Holden Thorp is to innovation.”
Girl on her phone: “I meowed at my boyfriend last night, but he told me to stop because it reminded him of his ex.”
At a Wachovia ATM: “I’m going to withdraw from my Way2Save account, AKA my fund alcohol and drugs account.”
“According to my scientific calculations females aren’t prone to enjoying the stimulus created by my fuzzy upper lip.”
Girl to Boy: “You look ridiculous”
Boy: “I know but I’m comfortable … like people in crocs.”
Boyfriend: “I told you I did drugs when we started dating.”
Girlfriend: “Yes but you failed to mention all your OTHER illegal activities.”
Boy: ”So you had sex to Christian Rock music…”
Girl: “Yeah, I’m so going to Hell.”
“They’re liberal, but they’re not Scandinavian liberal.”
GEOG 111 Student: “Where’s the best place to be during a tornado?”
Professor: “Definitely your freezer.”
