Kvetching Board for April 8, 2011

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the girl that thought I put my number in her phone last Saturday: Thanks for helping Japan out by donating $10 to 90999.

We live in a double-spaced, size-12, Times New Roman world. Why the heck are our laptops set to Calibri (Body)?

So how many break-ins/leg-rubbings does it take for UNC students to learn how to operate locks? Maybe we should have a freshman seminar on that.

Snoop Dogg most recently performed at the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards. Yes, Nickelodeon now has more street cred than UNC.

Perhaps last week’s kvetching board should have gone to “Orgasm? Yes, please” to learn how to please someone and make funny kvetches.

To the cute couple playing ukulele duets in the pit: way worse than PDA.

Dear DPS, thanks for informing me about the uneven sidewalk via traffic cones. Too bad you couldn’t figure out a way to tell me about the burglar in my dorm.

To the guy in front of me at Alpine who still has 453 dollars of flex left: Would you like to date from now until May 9?

To the campus tour guide in the Pit that just mentioned Davis and the UL as “our two libraries”: Do you even go here?

Dear sorority girls in the Agora, the next time you compare who you’ve slept with to see if there was any “double dipping,” I suggest you be a little more discreet. Sincerely, Concerned GDI.

To the guy audibly using Facebook chat while sitting on a toilet Union restroom: You’re taking staying connected to a whole new level.

Hey RELI majors — can we all get name tags displaying our religious affiliation? Because I’m getting sick of wasting my time flirting with girls whom I have no chance of dating.

To all the people sitting ALONE in a GROUP study room in Davis: Not only do you suck, but you’re making it really hard for me to find a place to have sex right now. Cockblocks.

To the Italian-looking student with the big mustache: Yes, I just saw you pick your nose.

Dear boy in my French class, for the love of God, please cut your nails on your right hand or at least stop drumming them on the table during class.

To the kid who emailed the Poli 150 listserv asking to form a study group Tuesday from 7-9: The test is Monday.

To the “self-proclaimed jersey chasers” in Chi O, your anonymity was lost when your sisters had to wheel you to class Friday morning. Guess you couldn’t handle something bigger than your own egos.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’