Kvetching board for Nov. 11, 2011

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the jacked guy always blasting dubstep: those pink headphones make me wanna drop my panties harder than Skrillex’s baselines.

To Dance Marathon: If this is going to be the best one night stand of my life, does that mean you’ll be making BLT sandwiches and telling me how great I was afterwards?

To the guys playing the “penis” game in Top of Lenoir: I don’t think you’ll be needing yours anytime soon.

To the guy in the Davis restroom who raged at me for stealing his paper towel, you mad?

Dance Marathon, I know it’s “For the Kids,” but will they be there for 24 hours too? Thanks, Jerry Sandusky.

Sorority girls are going to make Polk Place a violation of the Clean Air Act. Easy on the perfume, ladies.

Voting is like sex: I don’t know much about the candidates, and I try to do it once a year.

The ConnectCarolina drinking game: One shot for every red “x.” Two shots if it logs you out. Three shots if you actually manage to get a class you want.

Dear beautiful hipster boys: please protect your species and wear helmets while on your vintage road bikes and fixies.

That awkward moment when you’re leaving a POLI lecture and someone casually mentions that you have a thong stuck to your shoe…it was a rough morning.

After apologizing to State for Coach Withers’ comments, Chancellor Thorp went to UCLA to apologize to Drew II and the Wears for UNC’s unfair treatment towards them.

DTH, your political cartoon on Thursday is racist. Don’t you know never to draw a black man unless he’s a victim?

If you need a Tudor to read this, you probably go to N.C. State.

To the girl blaring the Rocky theme song from her headphones at 9 a.m.: is the walk from South Campus really that much of a trek?

To the UNC football players who stand outside of Lenoir every day: maybe you should try practicing instead of flirting with girls. Then, we might actually beat State for once.

To the kid whose parents were waiting at the bus stop to take pictures when you stepped off the RU: What?

To Asians in the UL this week: Ed Hardy v-necks, skinny jeans and a longboard? Who are you?

My roommate is like Mrs. Potato Head: she’s got a lot of accessories, but nothing inside.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’