Kvetching board for January 13, 2012

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Thanks, iMessage, for making the mass-text booty call impossible. You suck.

To the guy in my noon class with X’s on his hands, talking about “going out” last night: Hold on everyone, looks like we’ve got a badass over here.

To the boy with brown hair wearing a Barbour coat and duck boots at Bob’s…oh wait.

It’s not a real game until somebody gets vommed on. #thisiscarolinabasketball

To the 500 girls who overran the SRC on their way to Zumba after New Years: I’ll believe you in two months.

Hey “24-hour” Harris Teeter, it doesn’t count if you close at 10 p.m. on Sundays.
Dear Dick Baddour, UNC thinks your family photos are lovely, but the Kenan Stadium slide show can end.

To the guy who said he’d start studying every two weeks next semester to be more prepared: There’s a better chance Tim Tebow will go to hell.

Dear UNC, why you make me learn???

To the cop who pulled me over wearing a WWJD bracelet: What would Jesus do?

Is there a reason no one EVER goes to Zog’s?

To the guy playing Pokemon in my Chem lecture: I would have cheered and fist pumped the air too if I had just spent five minutes trying to hatch that egg.

To the guy who chased his runaway longboard down Rosemary Street without ever spilling his Caribou or snagging his flannel: You are my hipster hero.

I wish this rain were snow.

To my Chem guest lecturer who claimed to be qualified to teach here because she was kvetched at once: Looking up absolute zero on Wikipedia during class speaks to the contrary.

To the girl studying in the bathroom: Now your grades are literally in the toilet.

To the girls dancing to “Jingle Bell Rock” in Starbucks: That’s only hot in Mean Girls.

To the guy whose “Stanky Leg” ring tone went off in Davis: Was that 2007 calling?

To the waif in bottom of Lenoir: 108 before break and 110 after?! Hold. The. Phone. Two pounds? Good thing you’re hiding it all behind that lovely rabbit fur vest.

To the ginger guy who texts me 14 times an hour: I saw you streaking through the library and I was very disappointed. Plus, I didn’t want to know that the carpet matches the drapes.

To the girl in Starbucks looking up letter combinations for Words with Friends: No judgment from me. I played ZINCS this morning.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’