Kvetching board for April 25, 2012

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the obnoxious lady who screamed “amen!” and “absolutely!” after everything Obama said during his speech, please install a muzzle on your mouth and never come to any UNC events other than basketball games.

President Obama AND Late Night with Jimmy Fallon AND Dave Matthews — try to top that for LDOC, Dookies.

Over or under 100% of the kvetches being about Obama’s visit or LDOC?

Making the Kvetching Board twice as big only makes it half as exciting when you get one published, and twice as disappointing when you don’t. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

To everyone that went to the Obama Speech/Fallon show: Thanks for posting an inordinate amount of Facebook statuses, pictures and tweets about the event. It was like I was almost there, except for you know, not actually enjoying it.

Graduating from UNC is like waking up the next morning after a one night stand with a really hot girl; you convince yourself you did a decent job but wish it could happen all over again.

Sorry, sorority girls sitting behind me in Carmichael. You are not Monica and Obama is not Clinton, no matter how “hot” you think you look today.

To everyone I accidentally cut in the Jimmy Fallon ticket line monday morning… I’m so so sorry. Then again, #YOLO

Wait, this isn’t the line for the iPhone 5?

To the girls who skipped hundreds in line to see Obama because “we’re on the soccer team”: I don’t care if you’re Kendall Marshall. GET IN THE BACK OF THE LINE.

Is it just me, or as finals get closer, do the Davis elevators seem a bit more like the Hollywood Tower of Terror?

So, any sober seniors tonight? Didn’t think so.

Dearest ASG: considering half the campus hates your existence, I would say that giving yourself a raise probably won’t be remembered as one of your greatest ideas.

I think it’s really neat that President Obama, Jimmy Fallon, and Dave Matthews Band are coming back next year. I mean, they wouldn’t give preference to seniors for this if it weren’t an annual event right? Right?

Once we’re all done showing our Obama tickets can we promise to go back to sharing Memes?

To the Robertson Scholar who was complaining that Duke was a much more suitable location for Obama to talk about the problem of tuition hikes- I’m pretty sure he wanted to talk to the students from North Carolina, not New Jersey.

To Carolina Dining Services, how many managers does it take to run a cafeteria? Three to keep things under control, 10 to stand around and chat.

To the guy in the UL farting at all hours of the morning, instead of keeping mine quiet I should have used yours for cover.

I like my men how I like my Early Voting: quick and easy.

That awkward moment when an elderly tutor sees the revolutionary ability to “search” on etextbook sites, and says,”Ooooo…that’s sexy.”

Did someone let the Secret Service know about University Massage? They’ll keep that service a secret.

To the girl walking around on the last Monday of classes with a Blue Cup: Yes.

#whatshouldunccallme, Imma let you finish; But Chapel Thrills had one of the best #whatshouldwecallme tumblr knock offs of all time.

After waiting for bell tower and Fallon, Alpine Bagel line’s got nothin’ on me!

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’