kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
To the girl that managed to stick her umbrella up my shorts on the bus: I will admit that you got me wet, but honestly, I’m not interested.
To the Union: Thank you for putting on awesome events that let people at the box office ask for, “The Orgasm for two, please.”
To my summer hookup: You may have left behind hickeys, but I deflowered you. Me-1, you-0.
To the girl leaving Davis at 2 a.m. with a cute boy, bouquet of flowers and pizza box: You are winning.
To the first-year posting on the UNC class of 2016 Facebook page looking for “cute, normal girls to be friends with (maybe more)”: We know you are desperate, but posting it on Facebook isn’t going to help.
To those who text in crowds expecting to get to point B. Stop. The Walking Texting Ranger is watching.
To the spider that crawled out of my broccoli at Lenoir, I didn’t think it tasted very good either.
To the group of Asian kids studying in Davis Library, just because you are speaking a different language does not mean we can’t hear you talking loudly.
