Kvetching Board for Oct. 12, 2012

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Duke might have the latest Nobel laureate, but we’ve got Bill Nye coming. UNC 1, Duke 0.

To the professor who asked the minorities in class if they had ever been singled out to answer a question because of their race … Yeah, just now.

To the dude wearing the “DON’T SWEAT MY SWAG” shirt and the blonde guy behind him with a mullet: WHY?

To the girl walking across the quad today, you had four ass cheeks. And I could see all four. My suggestion to you is to buy longer shorts and/or just wear pants.

Slow clap for the girl who wore her leather leggings to the library.
Shouldn’t Student Congress matter before we decide to fix it?

If you don’t go to UNC, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems, but Bill Nye ain’t one.

To the girl who said she was a vegetarian “except for chicken,” it doesn’t work that way, sweetie.

You know we have problems when campus rec checks IDs for intramurals better then TOPO.

I don’t know what was better about the white out: A UNC victory or the fact that fratstars had to stoop down to GDIs’ level and wear T-shirts.

It’s really upsetting that the guy walking around in fur-lined, camo-print Crocs is probably hooking up with more people than I am due to the 60/40 male-to-female ratio.

To the biking hipster girl who told me, “I’ll run you over and I won’t feel bad about it,” while walking through the quad: Who pissed in your organic yogurt and granola this morning?

To the “Ukulele Corps” that played a Smash Mouth song today: Thank you for doing that to my Hawaiian ancestors. Somebody let me know when hipsters decide sitars are cooler so I can walk through the quad again.

To the bro in the back row with the “Mitts the Tits” decal: I don’t even know where to start with you.

To the guy preaching outside Wilson this week, you’re doing a great job and I’mma let you finish, but Gary Birdsong is the best pit preacher of all time.

Dear bros, it’s def hazing when you get red sauce on my Vineyard Vines.

To the previous occupants of this study booth in the UL computer lab Tuesday morning: You left your hot pink condom and chicken burrito. I want to see you come back for your lost items.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’