Quick hits for Oct. 4, 2012

First Amendment

Tuesday was First Amendment Day and in that light, we should all take a moment to be thankful for all the things Ol’ Firstie gives us license to do. Speech, religion, assembly, petition, and ahem the press are all kept safe from unwanted intrusion by the First. So keep on doing your expressive thing, ‘Murca.

Vegan video

The non-profit group Farm Animal Rights Movement (F.A.R.M., GET IT?!) is paying UNC students $1 to watch a short video about animal slaughter for food. While we are definitely pro-animal rights and pro-transparency in business, we are also very pro-chicken biscuits. Man, we talk about food a lot in these things…

Nom Nom Nom

In the past, these Quick Hits have been a little holier-than-thou about eating greasy, decadent food. But not this time we aren’t. The deep-fried Girl Scout cookies at the upcoming State Fair are a welcome­ ­— and quite frankly, overdue — gift from the Cholesterol Gods. Now if only there were a way to deep-fry milk.

Debate debacle

All of the professors who decided to have exams on Thursday are killing democracy. Literally murdering it. With all the studying we had to do how were we supposed to watch the debate and play drinking ga — I mean take diligent, accurate notes?! Somewhere, a bald eagle is crying. Way to go.

Pledge marinara

While fraternity hazing is a serious issue, recent reported happenings at ATO rate very high on the pasta-based comedy scale. A complaint alleged that “large amounts of spaghetti (were) thrown” at pledges. If that’s not the funniest image you’ve had in a while, I don’t know what is.

Idahopeless

UNC put on a clinic against Idaho last Saturday, routing the Vandals 66-0. Unfortunately, they did so in a mostly empty Kenan Stadium as God decided to retract that whole rainbow covenant thing for a day. Come on, Tar Heels! Where’s your team spirit? When has a little pneumonia ever hurt anybody?!