Perks of being a Waffle House

What’s happening to this place? Pepper’s Pizza, Kildare’s, Tomato Jake’s. Old restaurants are being taken away in the dark of night, and new ones open with going-out-of-business sales.

Some say they’re the victims of increased on-campus dining options, which are closer and more convenient and include such classic Chapel Hill staples as Wendy’s, Chick-fil-A and Subway. Others think we’re too lazy and fat to walk a quarter mile because all we eat is Wendy’s, Chick-fil-A and Subway.

I asked Daisy Maness, general manager of Ye Olde Waffle Shoppe, if the new Waffle House coming made them nervous. In pure disgustingness of bathroom alone, how could they ever compete with a major chain?

“They are who they are, we are who we are,” she said. “We’ll keep our clientele, they’ll keep their clientele.”

Still, she acknowledged, the environment has changed. Chains are taking over.

“I hate to see that, but I guess that’s progress,” she said.

Things weren’t always this way. There was a happier time. To really understand, you have to understand how Chapel Hill was years ago, at the height of its golden age…

Ephesus Elementary. 1997. I had just moved into town, the new kid in Mr. Zimmerman’s fifth grade class. Even though I had braces on my baby teeth and bifocals by the time I was 10, it still wasn’t always easy to make friends.

Chapel Hill kids were different: smart, well-traveled … I forget what else they mentioned, but you get the basic gist. It was a more innocent time, when a boy could Rollerblade without having his manhood questioned and go to Apple Chill to have his face painted and his back shot.

University Mall wasn’t a yuppie paradise, but a mall, with a pet store and an arcade — a real arcade, the kind where the machines ate your money and you knew the name of the kid punching you and stealing your bike.

Super Wal-Mart in Durham was still just a ma and pop Wal-Mart. Back then, our parents would have to make two trips: one for our food, the other for our lead toys.

Maybe it’s all a part of the great circle of life.

Like Mufasa said, the lion eats the antelope; when the lion dies, he becomes grass; the antelope eats the grass. And if you can give it a trademarked name, put it in a ring shape and fry it, I’ll probably eat either one.

But wistfully visiting an old abandoned concrete parking lot where a beloved childhood movie theater once was is supposed to be something only really old people have to do in the movies. I want my town back.

The good news is, we can still turn things around. Our generation can still save this old place, but it’s going to take each and every single one of us to do it.

UPDATE: The town of Chapel Hill announced it would permanently close its doors to the public on Saturday after 200 years, to make way for a giant Chili’s.