Quickhits for March 28, 2013

That oughta do it

The student newspaper of a New Mexico community college had one of its issues pulled by the school for being controversial. In “protest” the University of New Mexico’s student paper ceased publication. Fighting censorship with silence? Genius. There’s no way this is because the editor had a paper due tomorrow.

Show me your papers

The N.C. Department of Transportation has gotten a lot of flak lately for deciding to issue driver’s licenses to certain noncitizens, marked with “NO LAWFUL STATUS” and including a large pink stripe. But the D.O.T. has since opted to do away with the pink stripe. See! Color isn’t actually relevant to driving.

Snitches get stitches

UNC’s Quidditch “team” “dominated” the “competition” at a regional Quidditch “tournament.” The players are hoping that this “victory” will help them on their path to athletic legitimacy at UNC. Another thing that might help them on their path to athletic legitimacy would be playing a sport.

Big wheels

Chapel Hill is trying to make the town more bicycle friendly. Us hippie-dippie green freaks at the DTH like the idea. Except the reward for being bike-friendly is … a free bike rack? That’s like saying, “Oh you have $1,000? Here’s $500 for working so hard!” But enough about the Republican Party…

Sour Sixteen

OK, my bracket’s done. It’s gone. Dead. Kaput. Passed on. Six feet under. Pushing daisies. I’m out of euphemisms. The point is that this March has been especially mad. Who could’ve known that Florida Gulf Coast University a) existed or b) was inexplicably talented at basketball? Not Georgetown, apparently.

e-Equality

Facebook has been overtaken by photo after photo of two white bars superimposed on a red square in support of marriage equality. While the sentiment’s admirable, if the internet actually had all that much influence over the Supreme Court, all nine justices would be chubby kittens.