The people’s Honor Court

Political science majors spend a lot of class time pondering one thing: “What is justice?” It’s so simple a word, yet so boring to define.

Perhaps Plato’s “Republic” put it best when he wrote, “I am the wisest man alive, for I know only one thing,” he said. “And that is, I’m freaking Plato. I mean, c’mon.”

OK, it’s a rough translation, but I’ve always been more of an Aristotelian, anyway. Not just because my professor said he’s better, and until I hear differently I’m going with it, but because Aristotle believed deeply as I do: That the virtue of justice consists in moderation, as regulated by wisdom.

And if there’s only one word I’d use to describe college students, it’s moderation.

Is there justice on this campus? Does the pope wear a funny hat and never retire?

You see, recently, people have questioned whether certain roles UNC students play in enforcing justice on campus — in the Honor Court, on student grievance committees, or elsewhere — are appropriate for students to be involved in.

Allow me, if you will, this brief time to defend them and our campus’ highest, only court in my own unique way — lying.

The truth is, these concerns couldn’t be more unfounded. Our Honor Court, for example, has a long and proud history of getting involved in areas they don’t belong. Cases in point:

2009: Honor Court members are trained to administer the flu shot to students following budget cuts, resulting in what became known worldwide as “H1N1.”

1804: In a landmark suit, members irritated a nation filing one of the least-studied Supreme Court cases of all time, “Marbury vs. Madison vs. UNC Honor Court.”

2000: What’s referred to by music critics as “easily the worst decision ever made,” the court is brought in as the sixth Spice Girl. “Honor Spice” effectively ends the band.

Here’s a question to ponder: Should a student with no experience outside of college ever have the power to permanently expel someone else from it?

I honestly believe that the vast majority of students on our University’s court, committees, student government, are all decent, hardworking overachievers who cannot be trusted to cede even a small amount of power once they get it.

But I don’t blame them; I blame the system that gives them the responsibility. Look, I’m as ambitious as the next guy — I know I probably shouldn’t be chancellor, but if someone offered me the chance next year, I know how great that would look if I ever decide to write for a smaller, private college.

In other words, despite my lack of qualifications, I’d still say yes.

Some, like Aristotle, say students should never be involved in such matters — that some things, namely justice, are matters for our elders, with wisdom and experience under their belts. “Youth is easily deceived,” he wrote, “because it is quick to hope.”

Then put me in charge, because after two years here, I’ve got none left.