Lol jk
Someone hacked the Associated Press’ Twitter account Tuesday and tweeted a tweet untrue about bombs going off in the White House. Do you see now, world?! This is why you should always wait for your trusted daily newspaper to read all the news fit to print 16 hours after everyone’s heard about it.
Knifey spoony
Tuesday, 608 UNC students broke the world record for longest spoon train. The participants were drawn from from all across campus but shared a commonality: a crippling loneliness and stinging desperation for any sort of human touch. But congrats on your world record, though!
Children of the grain
Chapel Hill-Carrboro City Schools has announced a partnership with Weaver Street Market to provide healthier school lunches. Weaver’s known for its eclectic foodstuffs and apparently it’s extending that peculiarity to items on its school menu like “farro,” which is apparently “similar to barley.” Obviously.
F-word after F-word
A sorority president from the University of Maryland sent out a threatening letter to her sorority sisters full of the foulest, angriest language this side of a Tarantino movie. We’d love to print excerpts here, but this is a family newspaper, people. It’s still not as funny as throwing spaghetti at pledges, though.
Shut your Dartmouth
Carol Folt canceled classes Wednesday at Dartmouth in response to a small, but vocal, campus protest about racism, homophobia and sexual assault. C’mon, Holden! You never once made everyone pause their education to deal with a dozen or so shouting students. Everybody loves playing hooky!
Godspeed.
This is our last QuickHits for the semester, and before this writer takes his leave, he’d like to thank the following for making his job a lot easier: the Quidditch team, Humans vs. Zombies, Holden Thorp’s questionable social skills, white people at Duke and the entire town of Carrboro. It’s truly been a pleasure.
