Quickhits for April 4, 2013

Writing on the ?oor

Ackland Art Museum placed several log-sized pieces of chalk in the Pit last week to foster expression. Unfortunately, Ackland forgot that UNC students can be kinda awful. Your fellow Tar Heels adorned the Pit with lovely chalk exhortations like “PARTY WITH SLUTS.” Keep up the good work, y’all.

Fair, Local, Organical

Local media outlet Chapelboro ran an April’s Fool’s Day article claiming that Chapel Hill and Carrboro had voted to merge, forming the town of Carr Hill. No one fell for this! Do you really think Carrboroites would ever give up their right to protest literally any new building in their town that isn’t built out of kale?

Playing politics

President Obama announced that he’ll return 5 percent of his $400,000 salary to the treasury in solidarity with Americans affected by the sequester. This would be more impressive if he wasn’t getting free housing. But you know what would show true solidarity with sequestration? Ending sequestration.

Black is back in Black

Comedian and perennial neurotic Lewis Black will be coming to Chapel Hill Friday to perform two shows for UNC students. Black is a funny man but its strange imagining that a man as wound up as he is could have gone to UNC. It’s the Southern Part of Heaven! Just kidding, this place will eat your soul.

We need $$$$$, plz

The once-defunct Carrboro Citizen is now funct again! The newspaper, which ceased publication last October will be revived by a group of Carrboro citizens as a non-profit organization. See, Internet! Newspapers aren’t dead yet. They just don’t make any money and have to be run by philanthropy. All is well!

It’s a shame

The Tar Heel baseball team lost just their second game of the season this week, 5-4 to Clemson in extra innings. While losing is disappointing, we can take consolation in two things. First, we’re still the beast team in the country. Second, no team has a player with a name nearly as cool as Skye Bolt. It’s electric!