Another exciting year at Monsters University.
Honestly, I swore I was done with the business of bashing the athletic department, but like Michael Corleone said, “Just when I think I’m out … they pull me back in! ”
You see, a lot of negative press has been coming out of the basketball program this summer, where P.J. Hairston has been spending his time either testing every traffic law in North Carolina or shooting the longest 50 Cent video ever.
It’s got everything: Fast cars, drugs, guns, Roy Williams twerking angrily in the background. But here’s the gist of it: Hairston was arrested in June on misdemeanor marijuana charges and was charged with driving without a license. A gun was found outside the car but, under questioning, it vehemently denied knowing Hairston. All Hairston’s charges were dropped, but to make matters stickier, the car was rented by a felon named Haydn “Fats” Thomas . It’s the latest in a slew of troubles Hairston’s been finding himself in during the past year, which includes an ongoing NCAA investigation into Hairston’s relationship with an NBA agent .
Still, Roy Williams stuck by Hairston after the charges were dropped (because honestly, if players can’t trust a felon named “Fats,” who can they trust anymore?), but shortly after, when Hairston was cited again — this time going 93 mph on Interstate 85 — Williams released a late-night statement suspending Hairston indefinitely.
That’s where things get murky. See, “indefinitely” is one of those words meant to sound serious that really mean nothing.
Indefinitely: As in definitely, he’ll play games.
Athletic Director Bubba Cunningham proved as much when professor Andy Bechtel tweeted Cunningham told University staff Hairston would play, but not in “all the games.” Presumably, just the really, really important ones.
Guys, can’t we at least pretend our school is still in charge of its students and faculty this year?
