Kvetching Board for October 11, 2013

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the UNC physics department: If you think an average score of a 69 on a test means it was too easy, then you’re as dysfunctional as our government.

So much for “Blackout.” I’m wearing white as a sign of surrendering this season on Zero Dark Thursday.

Some girls apparently need to be reminded: If you wear high-heeled rain boots … you’re gonna have a bad time.

To that litterer who dropped a fruit peel on the Ehaus trail the other morning: Orange you glad I have this big-ass bruise on my knee from slipping?

Wearing long pants but still having to shave for your LFIT … the struggle is real.

To the #lesbihonest girl: You have a boyfriend in New Zealand. #acaawkward #whoopthereitis

To the lab that sent me an email with subject, “PARTICIPANTS NEEDED FOR ANAL FISSURE STUDY”: You and me both, right???

To my housemates who found out we’ve been paying the wrong power bill when our electricity was turned off: I feel like we’ve really been kept in the dark about this one.

To the football player napping in Davis on Monday: Did your siesta on the field this Saturday not accommodate your lack of sleep?

Number of times I’ve used my $200 textbook to study: Two. Number of bugs I’ve killed with it: Three.

SafeWalk walks me all the way home only to leave when I get to my door. What a tease! At least tuck me in.

To the tour guide I overheard: If by “We call the third through eight floors of Davis ‘the stack’” you actually mean, “No one has a special name for part of a library, that would be weird,” then I totally agree with you.

Quick shoutout to my fellow students in Animal Behaviors who suppressed a giggle when we started talking about the birds known as “Great Tits.”

To the boy who left his laundry in three washers in Stacy for so long that it was dry and it smelled: DO BETTER. And it’s time to invest in some new boxers.

To the girl in Wendy’s who listens to Miley Cyrus’ “We Can’t Stop” on repeat while under the influence of Adderall: Maybe you should stop!

There could be an Oversmelled at Carolina dedicated to Frat Court.

The deepest circle of hell is reserved for people who provide spreadsheets of numerical data in JPG form.

To the dead fly in my breakfast at Lenoir: I know, the new music is killing me too.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.