Kvetching Board for November 8, 2013

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To my grandparents, since they asked: All I want for Christmas is to go home and not be accosted by Dance Marathon people for a few blessed weeks.

I’ve seen public bathrooms at southeastern European border crossings cleaner than the first-floor women’s in Davis.

If my exams don’t kill me, the musk from the student body definitely will.

To the concerned parent and that rosy summary of the DTH crime log … Thanks! Now I know it’s YOUR KID rolling people on Franklin, brandishing firearms and racking up B & E’s. Congratulations to the future business major!

Motion to rename the P2P the Struggle Bus?

Is the shortage of ketchup a global issue or is it just at UNC dining halls? #SavetheNuggets

In an unexpected twist, the 70-degree weather made Halloween on Franklin Street hotter and sweatier than ever before!

To all the people I offended with my Halloween costume: I’m sorry. You can all go shave your backs now. Sincerely, crying “Indian chief.”

I know midterms are tough and all and can cause tension in a relationship this time of year, so here is a list of places you should loudly fight with your significant other: NOT THE LIBRARY.

To the British Ninth Doctor on Franklin: Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my TARDIS, time travel maybe? Cause you stole both my hearts. Sincerely, the 10th Doctor.

To all the people sitting on Graham Memorial couches, watching as I curl up to sleep on a chair: Is this some kind of sick game to you?!

To the guys watching loud animated porn with the door open, I think there are better ways for y’all to bond as roommates.

Thank you, Harris Teeter, for contacting me about the jobs I applied for in high school. Glad to know I didn’t get the position, four and a half years later.

To the guy on the computer in Davis with his bike helmet strapped on, you are the new definition of safe search.

To the girl dressed up as Khaleesi in my Computer Science 101 class, you’re about to liberate us from JavaScript right? #breakerofchains

We’re asking the wrong question. It isn’t “Whose state?” — it’s “Who’s State?”

I’m a senior and I walked through the Pit during dancer recruitment week. #rookiemistake
Is that an Indonesian primate hooting in Coker 201? Nope, it’s my animal behaviors professor with a bad case of the Mondays.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’