Second only to “Milkshake,” Kelis’ most well-known song is “Bossy.” The opening lines of the track, “You will respect me/ you know why?/ cuz I’m a boss!,” operate under a guise of pseudo-empowerment. We use the term ‘bossy’ to describe women who are uncompromising leaders, who control their own lives and carry themselves with confidence and high esteem. The term, though, isn’t complimentary or positive. It’s really just a euphemism for a less family-friendly word: bitchy.
The Ban Bossy campaign is sponsored by the Girl Scouts of the USA and LeanIn.org, an organization based on the tenants of Sheryl Sandberg’s book ”Lean In” which promotes women’s drive and confidence in the workplace. In a video for the campaign sponsored by Lifetime, Beyonce, Jennifer Garner, Diane von Furstenberg and Condoleezza Rice, each encourage us to ban the word bossy and promote the ambition of young girls.
As a former Girl Scout and fan of Queen Bey, I love the message of Ban Bossy and initially found no concerns in the campaign. The more I thought, though, the more I wondered why banning is the only option. Don’t we have a right, as women, to use the pejorative terms slurred at us in an empowering way?
Mean Girls is an incredible film for multiple reasons: sober Lindsay Lohan, heartthrob Aaron Samuels and, “Four for you Glen Coco!” One of my favorite quotes comes from Tina Fey’s character Ms. Norbury as she lectures a gymnasium full of teenage girls: “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores.” This statement is undeniably accurate. Though it’s never OK for a man to call a woman a slut, pervasive use of the term by women deceives men into believing it is acceptable.
As a feminist, I’ve mentally grappled with the ‘reclaim or eradicate’ debate for my college career. Bitch Magazine considers itself a ‘feminist response to pop culture’ and is one of the most well-known and respected feminist publications. In a similar vein, LGBTQ communities have positively reclaimed the word ‘queer’ and often use it to encompass a wide-range of individuals who consider themselves sexual or gender minorities. For me, though, I would rather halt the use of offensive terms and build a culture that thrives on the unhindered power of all peoples.
One of my favorite feminist pieces is UNC professor Sherryl Kleinman’s “Why Sexist Language Matters.” Kleinman discusses the negative results of widely-accepted male generics (chairman, freshman, mankind). The constant demeaning of women through language which places them as secondary to men affects ambition, self-worth and efficacy.
Language, as the outward expression of our thoughts, affects our thought patterns. Once we stop using the terms ‘bitch’ and ‘bossy,’ we’ll stop thinking of them as well. If speech affects thoughts and thoughts affect action, consider how a ‘bitch-free’ world would operate.
