A Belgian teacher has found a new way to keep students in line — threatening them with spoilers to “Game of Thrones.” He has already told them everyone who dies in the third book. This only serves to perpetuate the stereotype of Belgians being nothing but more evil, waffle-mongering French people.
A true sign
Eighty-four years into his quest to become the world’s biggest asshole, Fred Phelps, founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, has died. Many have expressed their hope that this will quell WBC’s protests of funerals. As great as this would be, you won’t find any shameless jokes here. God hates gags.
Lil'Kim
Supreme leader Kim Jong-un recently mandated that all men in North Korea must wear their hair exactly as he does. The stylish shaved sides and middle part have been known to bring women and Dennis Rodman to their knees. No word on whether this will seduce South Korea into joining its northern counterpart.
No more dancing
To get the day's news and headlines in your inbox each morning, sign up for our email newsletters.
The men’s basketball team’s run at the title has come to an end after a loss to Iowa State. While 75 percent of the school is optimistic about next year, seniors are still crying themselves to sleep, only to dream of rushing Franklin. The only silver lining is the fact that we made it further than Duke and N.C. State.
