Quickhits for March 6, 2014

*A poor trait*

Monday, someone commited the most deadly of sins and “replied all” to a senior portrait listserv. More than 40 emails from people who don’t understand unsubscribe links later, everyone seemed about to lose their minds. Thankfully, it ended, and we were reminded how insignificant some of our problems are.

*SB2K14*

As this week comes to a close, so starts one of the greatest traditions of college — spending spring break some place warm, drinking your body weight in a local beer that hopefully isn’t made of what it sounds like and absorbing enough sun to give a dozen lizard people skin cancer.

*Canned*

Earlier this week a New Jersey judge ruled that the parents of Rachel Canning would not be forced to pay the girl’s high school and college tuition, as well as supplying a stipend. With the ruling came the sighs of hundreds of UNC administrators who had thought they finally found the solution to rising tuition prices.

*Just Google it*

Google Fiber, a high speed internet service, may be coming to Chapel Hill. This would finally provide some competition to Time Warner Cable. It would also increase connections to cat videos, dope remixes all your friends have to listen to and that Latvian girl that totally likes you and definitely isn’t a middle-aged man.

*Russia the field*

Yesterday the U.S. Men’s National Team lost a friendly soccer match to the Ukrainian national team. This came despite the U.S.’s higher ranking and their dominance of possession. For reasons yet to be fully explained, four Russian soldiers demanded to stand in the corner of Ukraine’s goal for the duration of the match.

*What a tease*

A student recently interrupted a lecture by declaring his passion for stripping and revealing his banana hammock. While we’re all for any excitement added to dull lectures, at least have some creativity with it. What’s happened to all the streakers, sexy sax men and Zorros (complete with mariachi band) of yesteryears?