Quick Hits for June 12, 2014

Just beat it

Rolling Stone reported there are eight more posthumous Michael Jackson albums in the works, making Jackson more zombified than he was for the “Thriller” video. Even M.J.’s outtakes are better than what’s on the radio, but we have a feeling by the time Jackson’s eighth-best outtakes are released, they’re going to eat our brains.

Let it go

Clippers owner Donald Sterling changed his mind again about the impending sale of the Clippers. After initially vowing to fight the forced sale of the team, he reportedly agreed to it, but now, he plans to sue the NBA. Sterling apparently hasn’t figured out when to let go of a loss, which is surprising considering he owns the Clippers.

Praise Biebus!

Justin Bieber has been baptized after the release of videos of the singer being racist. A cynical person would say Bieber is distracting CNN’s audience with a public relations stunt, but maybe he’s born again. This news, however, comes as a surprise to many Beliebers who were under the impression that Justin was their true savior.

Creepy George

In a column The Washington Post astoundingly decided to publish, writer George Will said being a victim of sexual assault is a “coveted status.”  Being a columnist at The Washington Post used to be a coveted status, but not anymore. And it won’t be again until the Post decides to stop publishing the sexist rantings of crazy old men.