Quick Hits for June 5, 2014

Guilt trip

British screenwriter William Nicholson complained this week about the lukewarm reaction to his film “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom,” saying “12 Years A Slave” “sucked up all the guilt about black people that was available.”  It’s time for Nicholson to admit the only sucking going on was coming from his screenplay.

Pesty PETA

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are embarrassing themselves again, publishing an ad linking dairy consumption to autism in spite of evidence. Maybe this is part of PETA’s strategy to make animals seem as intelligent as people, because the group is acting dumber than those squirrels that run in front of cars.

Maserati dancing

Some burglars stole Miley Cyrus’ white Maserati Friday afternoon from her home in San Fernando Valley. The car was recovered in Simi Valley on Monday. But given that the robbery took place in broad daylight, and it took three days for police to find a freaking Maserati, we think the cops are as sick of Miley as the rest of us.

Mein mistake

Life-Savers Ministries in Auburn, Ala., put up a billboard attempting to recruit kids to their youth group Friday. It was down by Tuesday. The problem? The billboard quoted a certain Adolf Hitler, saying that “he alone who owns the youth, owns the future.” It’s remarkable no one thought this might be a bad idea, even in Alabama.