Kvetching board for Sept. 19, 2014

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the student behind me on Merritt Mill Road driving a motor scooter with one hand while texting with the other; hope you have not yet reproduced. Let’s try not to pollute the gene pool.

I’m curious if you switched up two frat bros’ wardrobes if they would even notice.

To the senior day-drinker from last week: You’re still wasting energy on excuses?

Shout-out to Rita Balaban for her Michelle Obama-status triceps.

A $25 fine for our recycling bin being on the street? Well, time to become a drug dealer to pay my debt.

Hey Sakai, could you maybe, I don’t know, schedule maintainance on a Saturday night or something instead?!

The answer is no. No, I don’t want to save the environment, and now I’m going to litter because you’ve bothered me.

Boys: Out of respect for the Campus Y’s effort to get gender non-specific bathrooms, please put down the damn seat.

I finally decided to take the time to stop and listen to the Pit Preacher for a while. He immediately asked if I smoked meth. Super.

Shoutout to the second floor bathroom in Davis and its strong TP game. You da real MVP.

“Climbing is hard for short people” #DTHheadlines #journalism.

To the construction workers on campus: Time is money. My instagram followers are dropping faster than Chemistry 101 students.

If we are really trying to prove our intelligence levels to ECU, should we let our astute campus newspaper use the phrase “super awk” in articles?

Thank you to the members of my group project who just exchanged over 500 words via text for our 75 word ungraded unassignment.

Thom Tillis is going to ruin Chapel Hill’s sex life.

To the legendary foosball player at back bar, I both envy you and respect that you have spent years working on your forearms if you know what I mean.

To my professor who keeps asking for us to lower the Cmin, might I suggest a spermicide.

Send your one-to-two ?sentence entries to ?opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’