Assistant copy editor Drew Goins (sugar and spice) and assistant online editor Kelsey Weekman (everything nice) are “You Asked for It,” a weekly column in which the two experts give their rarely helpful advice on questions submitted by UNC students. Results may vary.
You: I’m in love with my TA. Do I have to wait until I’m out of their class to seduce them, or nah?
YAFI: “Nothing gold can stay, so gather ye rosebuds while ye may, and turn around and give that big booty a smack, ayy.” So said Emily Dickinson in her seminal work, “The Road Not Taken.”
At least you think that’s what your intro to poetry professor said in lecture, but the words didn’t sink in until you got to your recitation and saw that smokin’ TA. Take Ms. Dickinson’s words to heart.
If you’ve got the hots for the grad student with the laser pointer, there’s no need to wait to make a move.
First off, we don’t blame you. It’s already easy to become intoxicated by power when your TA holds 12.5 percent of your grade in his or her hands. And if he or she is hot, game over. Make a move and wham, bam, you’re on “House of Cards.”
Be sure to caress his or her hand when turning in your annotated bibliography, and instead of your PID, write your phone number on assignments until he or she takes the hint. You might lose credit, but at the end of the class you’ll have blue books filled with sweet nothings — and only half of those nothings will be the nonsense you wrote for exams since you didn’t pay a bit of attention.
You: You two must be extremely busy. Any tips on time management?
YAFI: We are to time management what Michael Jordan is to football. In other words, there’s no working relationship.
