Kvetching Board for Oct. 31, 2014

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

OK, lemme get this straight, the repeated exploitation of black bodies to fill the pockets of white men is the fault of whom again?

Horrified when I went to “The Purge: Anarchy” to see Future America thirsting for violence and reveling in people’s demise. The movie was pretty scary, too.

To the guy who saw me pick my nose in my car, it’s snot what you think.

Breaking News: Looks like Pope, McCrory and Jim Crow are correct — we really don’t need to study AAAD, we just need to profit from it.

If you walk around campus without a backpack on, I’m going to assume that you’re in a paper class.

There is a special place in hell for guys who don’t abide by urinal buffer etiquette.

If my dad could see my credit card bill, he’d be asking what Linda’s is and why I haven’t invested stock in them yet.

Casually singing “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” as I attempt to park on campus at 4:30 p.m. without getting a ticket.

Senior year — spending an entire year’s salary ordering transcripts and sending test scores before I even have a job yet.

Suggestion for a mandatory freshman seminar: How to tell people where you’re sitting in Lenoir.

NBA season started, and I’m just waiting for Lebron to retire and play baseball so that “Space Jam 2” will come out.

I took the GRE on Tuesday and did well. I guess you could say I did GRE-A-T.

To my laptop: I still have to work when I don’t have any energy left, so you need to get your shit together.

Shout out to Jan Boxill: Teaching us that ethics are not black and white, but rather qualified based on loyalty.

You know you’re in college when your bed sheets have peanut butter and jelly stains in them.

To my fellow driver who decided to make a dead stop in the middle lane of I-40 because you missed the Fayetteville Road exit: Your death wish is not mine; please don’t!

This just in: The average person will spend 4.2 years of their life untangling headphones.

1989 — the number of cheapskates who have asked to rip my copy of T. Swift’s new album.

For the UNC Red Carpet in Miami: Caleb, WHO are you wearing this weekend?

Send your one-to-two ? sentence entries to ?opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’