T he class of 2015 is a few months into senior year, and we’re all in very different places. Some have already landed a job that begins immediately after graduation. To you we ask, “Okay, how did you do that?” and “Why not me?!”
Some are scrambling to figure out what to do with an anthropology degree. To you we say, “I’m gonna go buy you another beer,” and, “Here, let me give you a hug.”
I’m extremely jealous of those with a direct path — those who have a dream job, an open door or even just a direction.
But the next step feels weird and ambiguous to many of us. I think about where I’ll be a year from now, and it’s a completely blank slate. I could be anywhere doing practically anything. (Okay, not anything... I probably won’t be wearing excellent white pantsuits, drinking red wine and declaring, “It’s handled,” only to shut my office door and watch “Friends” on my computer all day, but I’m still trying to keep this dream alive. Email me if you have an opening for a position like this.)
Small talk with friends, relatives and acquaintances changes from, “What dorm are you living in?” and, “What’s your major?” to that dreaded question — “What are your plans after graduation?” Here are some suggestions for those of us who don’t have that answer fully figured out.
Laugh violently. Then, allow your expression to evolve from crazed laughter to hysterical crying. Put your face in your hands and start muttering, “Oh god, oh god,” over and over again. This should buy you some time to come up with an actual answer while your face is in your hands.
Start over from the beginning. Tell your friends and family you’ve decided you’re just going to hit control-Z over and over again until you’re back to the fifth floor of Craige on move-in day.
Give the people what they want! Just make something up that sounds good, even if your stories don’t match up. People will just think you’ve been changing your mind a lot. Tell them you’re being really indecisive because you’re a Libra. It doesn’t matter that you’re an Aquarius. Times are desperate. Most importantly, tell them something that won’t provoke any follow-up questions. Try, “I’m backpacking around Europe to really find myself.” No one will want to hear about that.
Ellipses. This is a great tactic for when asked in a virtual format, like Facebook messages from fair-weather friends and emails from your favorite aunt. It’s ambiguous and will make your plans seem more mysterious and alluring...
