Kvetching board for Dec. 3, 2014

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

The one time of year when humanities students all use our algebra skills — to calculate the minimum exam grade needed to pass.

To Dissection Haters: If I were a cadaver and I didn’t have at least one student cut out my heart, hold it above their head, and chant “Kali Ma Shakti De,” I would feel disrespected.

A Taylor Swift ode to course evaluations: “I Wish You Wouldn’t”

Wait, we have exams? My N.C. State friend assured me we wouldn’t!

Currently using my textbooks to trap a rat, so I’d say exam season is off to a good start.

During my senior year at Carolina, I’ve spent more face-to-face time with my Toppers delivery driver than with my professors.

Mammoth Monday at the Student Stores: The only day of the year when you don’t have to take out another student loan to buy their stuff.

Dear Santa Bubba: All I want for Christmas is a defense.

I wrote this kvetch on Monday. It’s to myself during exams: See? Everything’s not so bad after all. You’ve got this. I’m rooting for you.

To the ONE guy in my class who voted against having a take-home final: Could you not?

Is this new wi-fi being out after a certain hour at night UNC’s way of inflicting a curfew on our Netflix binges?

This one goes out to my hall mate who was playing banjo at 3 a.m. Thanks for keeping me entertained during my all-nighter.

Between heel_snaps and the trashing of Duke’s locker room by our athletes, we’re acting like children. This isn’t ECU!

To my professor: I know exactly zero French, but am still fairly confident that Poiseuille’s Law is not pronounced “Pussy’s Law.”

Chancellor Folt, if I spray paint your office in celebration of the wonderful semester I’ve had, will I get off without punishment if my parents pay for the damage?

To the adorable couple chilling in a pile of leaves on the quad: I swear, if you two start making out, I’m going to ask you to make like a tree.

How am I supposed to enter exam hibernation mode when it’s 70 degrees outside?

Between Thanksgiving and an overabundance of swipes, life is rough for those of us preparing to streak in Davis.

Send your one-to-two ?sentence entries to ?opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’