When it snows on campus, reactions vary as much as opinions on the color of that damn dress — which is white and gold by the way.
There are those from more tropical climates, squealing with anticipation at the first signs of flurries. There are out-of-staters from up north wondering why anyone gets excited for something so commonplace. Then there are the in-state students who know the mere forecast of snow can only mean one thing: cancelled classes.
Snow on campus can lead to good times with carefree friends, slipping and sliding on Martin Luther King Boulevard’s sidewalks, building blanket forts and spending time wisely by getting a head start on upcoming midterms — just kidding on that last one. Here’s what you can expect to happen when it snows on campus:
Notherners will make snarky comments on social media. Without a doubt, you will see at least one Facebook friend from Ohio claiming that it’s ridiculous to cancel classes for “half an inch” of snow. He has no idea that in-state students’ snow gear consists of rain boots with sweatpants and boogie boards as sleds.
Some students will get on a first-name basis with the chancellor. Students prowling for cancellation emails will then begin to question why “Carol” has yet to decide on the status of the inclement weather. Some will even begin using the hashtag #WheresCarol, to which she will respond with the utmost shade. #YGC (You Go Carol.)
Dining halls will close, and all hope will be lost. Once Lenoir and Rams Head shut their doors, students on campus begin to panic. They revert to their primal instincts and begin hunting squirrels and foraging for berries. After a few hours, they finally give up and make the long trek to Franklin Street to find an open restaurant.
A good excuse to cancel any and all meetings and plans, snow is an introvert’s dream! Slick roads and snow-covered bricks are an excellent, fool-proof excuse to remain barricaded indoors.
Students throw all responsibility out the window. Professors would be surprised to know that students primarily look forward to snow because it could extend the time allowed to finish assignments!
Students who have never prayed in their lives become as spiritual as the “pray” part of Elizabeth Gilbert’s novel read by book clubs everywhere, “Eat, Pray, Love.” They Google the Greek god of snow, Elsa, and begin chanting, desperately trying anything to get those beautiful flurries to stick to the ground so that they can get out of papers and exams.
