Drew Goins (white dudes hold the record for creepy crimes) and Kelsey Weekman (but females are strong as hell) are the advice columnists of “You Asked for It.” Results may vary.
You: I stayed home for spring break. How do I keep from seeming lame when my friends tell stories about the cool places they went?
YAFI: Ah, spring break, the one week of the year when it’s easier to check Snapchat than the weather app to see what the temps are on every island in the Greater, Lesser and Medium-Sized Antilles.
So maybe you didn’t go to Belize or New York City or NASCAR Speedpark, but that doesn’t mean your break isn’t worth talking up.
It might be hard, however, for your friends to grasp the essence of what you accomplished while they were hot-dogs-or-legs-ing, so try to find hometown equivalences for their far-flung experiences.
Some of your pals went to Panama City, but you probably went to a comparable public restroom at least once.
And we all have the friend who did a week of service work in Botswana and said it changed his life. But no one — no one — knows life-changing until he’s had his HeelMail login unexpectedly switch up on him.
You: I had a really great spring break. How do I tell people about it without making them jealous?
YAFI: Three friends, six days, 1,300 miles, four cities, two planes, 11 lizards, five barbershop quartets, 18 chalupas and one foreboding highwayman. Your Instagram caption says it all. “Sprang Break 2k15” with the girls in Charleston provided enough “Take me back!” #tbt’s for a lifetime.
