Kvetching Board for April 17, 2015

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have applied to UNC if I’d known it was a Pepsi-only campus.

To the Sup Dogs owner complaining about panhandling: I’m pretty sure the biggest obstacle to your hot dog business is the fact that it’s a hot dog business.

To all of the UNC students who constantly miss the buses, it’s really very simple: In order to catch a bus, you have to THINK like a bus.

The worms are out
The pollen’s in
My wet socks
cling to my skin
The world is green and
the warm rain splashes
against the red bricks
as my GPA crashes

Fifty Shades of Grey is located on the 8th floor of Davis. Coincidence? I think not!

The thoughts of every girl on this campus who is single and looking for a relationship: “Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink.”

Anyone else really wish that we could use emojis in papers? I just really feel like the little guy with sunglasses would help me get my point about “Doctor Faustus” across.

Shoutout to my baggie of Goldfish crackers for being the only things that have smiled in the library this week.

Shoutout to all my fellow would-be Free Cone Day attendees who walked straight past the line and into YoPo.

Anyone else feel like this pollen is turning campus into a Coldplay song this week? Cuz it is ALL yellow.

Thanks to the new iPhone update, all of my emojis have jaundice now, so that’s cool.

If I had a vote for every Hillary Clinton email I’ve gotten in the past 24 hours, I’d have better turnout than this year’s SBP elections.

Just your annual biology reminder that pollen is, in fact, plant sperm. You’re welcome.

As a conservative, is it bad for me to look at the College Republicans and immediately think, “Wow, those guys don’t look really trustworthy”?

To the two seniors having a kvetching competition: You are the definition of “life goals.”

You’ll never know whether us seniors are crying tears of joy, tears of sorrow or if we just have allergies. If you would like to support us, we are currently accepting hugs and Claritin.

I wasn’t feeling safe until College Republicans told me I should be. Thanks!

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’