Quickhits for Jan. 28., 2016

Cyclical, cynical

It was hot in December, a winter wonderland/hell-hole last week, and now it is springtime weather. We know this is the most classic North Carolina complaint, but that does not mean we will not continue to be angry about it. The temperature is changing so fast, and it is impossible to keep up.

Butt stuff

We too were glued to our Twitter accounts yesterday afternoon to watch the unfolding feud between Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa. It all felt gross because of Kanye’s misogynistic attack, but then, gloriously, Amber Rose saved the day with one tweet. We can’t reprint it here, but long live #TwitterFingers.

Settled cheerlessly

We applaud the New York Jets cheerleaders for suing the team for paying wages so low they were illegal and winning a settlement. The only problem is they didn’t win much: about $324,000 divided among 52 cheerleaders. Why won’t supervillainous NFL owners avoid all this by paying living wages?

See no evil

We’re really glad Donald Trump is out of the Fox News debate. Though we may be hypocritically playing into his hands by talking about him, it’s a relief to know for just one night, no new Trump sound bite will dominate our social media feeds (because there wasn’t a chance in hell we were going to watch that drivel).

We will not sign

Student Body President elections are upon us again. We are already dreading the seemingly never-ending requests to sign petitions. They are online: We know where to find them if we need them. So candidates, if you see us (look for our angry scowls), just assume that we are not interested.

Super guilt

The Carolina Panthers are going to the Super Bowl, and as proud Carolinians, we are excited. Which in turn makes us feel guilty due to the gross practices of the NFL and the violent and destructive nature of football. Will we watch the game? Probably. Will we feel bad about it? Definitely.