Kvetching Board for Feb. 18, 2016

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Some anonymous dorm Post-it notes truly take the “passive” out of passive-aggressive. Glad I’m not you, hall mate who left her alarm on too long.

The kvetches suck.

The drop button calls, a siren song so sweet, filling me with an urge I can barely defeat / And yet, alas! cruel fate — I need this class to graduate.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older — barely paying off our college loans while trying to retire — and we could be together. Beach Boys for the modern student.

I’m about as decisive about my life decisions as North Carolina is about weather in February.

How does UNC expect me to keep deadlines when they can’t even announce if we’re having class on time?

To the person that stole my friend’s Dook ticket and used it before we got to the gate, Coach K will see you in hell.

F*ck Duke. F*ck private schools. F*ck that game.

I need to find out where Grayson Allen takes his acting lessons; it’s my only shot at an Oscar.

Dear sports commentators, saying “Austin Rivers” at the d00k game is like saying “Macbeth” in a theater. Just don’t do it.

Can we please learn to use our dadgum timeouts?

Why is planning for my summers more stressful than anything during the school year? I thought college applications were going to be the last time I would have to go through unapologetic rejection like this.

To the hammered guy behind me in the Phase 5 line who took a dump in the Natatorium bushes, thanks for predicting a crappy game.

Chase Rice. Really?

The customer service at UNC has been great so far! - Student FN-2187.

To the Bernie fan in my class, I know he inspires you, but it doesn’t mean you have to be just like him and never shower or change clothes.

“Champagne! In victory one deserves it; in defeat one needs it.” Napoleon Bonaparte literally verified my life strategy with this one quote. I cannot afford champagne but drinking Aristocrat alone in my bedroom is close enough for me.

Our student section sucks. We need to be near the court, not a mile away from the action.

Weather in North Carolina is s(n)o(w) flaky.

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’