TO THE EDITOR:
Pottygate: Though scorners may sneer at and whittlings defame her,
Still my heart swells with gladness whenever we name her,
Hurrah, hurrah the good Ol’ North State forever.
New Yorkers are truly different from North Carolinians. If this were not so, everyone would have drowned in the Hudson River plane crash had only Big Applers been abroad. Common courtesy aside, there are other deep cultural differences.
New Yorkers are pretty gullible. They have forsaken the Holy Scripture in preference for thumping the New York Times on which they rely for political correctness. They believe Forrest Gump, the Dukes of Hazzard and Gomer Pyle are real people.
New Yorkers are somewhat delusional. For example they think the New York Giants play football in New York, Al Gore discovered the internet and Mayor Bloomberg was a Republican. Currently, New Yorkers believe Pottygate will get prodigal democrats in control of North Carolina and a bathroom stall of their own choosing.
New Yorkers have a high tolerance for losers: Knicks, Mets, Jets, Giants, Yankees, Buffalo and Syracuse. In the spirit of the Bull Run and Cold Harbor, North Carolina has the Panthers, the Tar Heels and Ol’ Roy.
Big Applers are big spenders. Notwithstanding the Times, Big Applers spend more on garbage disposals than North Carolinians do on shotguns and the King James Bible. (Maybe not the KJV). The difference is clear: New York is expensive, North Carolina is priceless.
