Parties can be hard. I’ve found myself smushed up against more poster-covered walls than I’d like to count, awkwardly scanning the room to see if I know anyone or huddling with the group I arrived with.
Don’t get me wrong — I love a good house party.
You know, the kind where everyone is a little too sweaty and you can make three new best friends in one night, all while in line for a bathroom, miraculously holding your bladder with all the party juice you’ve consumed.
College parties are great. I learn more about myself at each one I go to — how emphatically I can sing along to “Hotline Bling,” how to navigate home from the depths of Carrboro and how to tell first-years from seniors in the dark. All of this knowledge doesn’t make dealing with the social mores of parties any easier.
My solution when I’m feeling out of place? Find the dog. He or she will be feeling just like you: alone, a little underdressed and sitting in a chair in the corner.
No, neither of you really like how loud the music is (or the selections, for that matter. Really, Fetty Wap again?) You and the house dog can empathize over more than just the music; no party snacks?
Of course, the dog would be scavenging the floor for chip crumbs, but let’s face it — we’ve all had nights where we’d do anything to offset the copious amounts of mystery juice from a not-so-sterile moving box with some snacks.
If you’re lucky, you can get to the dog before the other party guests do. After all, wherever a dog decides to sit is likely the best chair in the house. No one wants to spill alcohol on a dog, so as for splash zones, you’re safe there.
Yes, you should find the dog first. Because, as any UNC student knows, when a dog appears on campus, a frenzy is sure to erupt. You want to reach the dog before a gaggle of people monopolize the party pup’s time.
