I want to sincerely advocate for and encourage moments of aloneness.
By this, I mean the simple and straightforward act of taking time to be alone. This should not be confused with loneliness; there's a critical difference. One is a state of being and one is an emotion that state can evoke.
So far, parts of my time in London have proven the two terms — aloneness and loneliness — are often thought to be interchangeable, when in reality they are intrinsically distinct and should be acknowledged as such.
My first dinner in London was at a restaurant where I felt perfectly fit, and even excited, to enjoy a meal alone. I sat down with my food, opened my book and was interrupted not even five minutes later by a stranger.
I hadn't invited conversation, but he insisted that since I was alone, I must want someone to talk to. Maybe he was being sincere, but I found myself making excuses about why I didn’t want to give him my number, explaining to him that I was intentionally alone.
Maybe it's a trait borne from being an only child — I make sure to carve out time to do things alone. Unfortunately, I don't think this genuine enjoyment in adventuring and exploring on my own is always encouraged by our society.
The pressure to excel under a stuffed schedule, mixed with the need for a circle of friends that should be exponentially growing, leaves little room for aloneness. We often judge or feel sorry for people we see by themselves. Yet making sure you experience parts of life alone is so critical.
Only in aloneness can you organize your opinions, overcome individual challenges and embrace self-awareness. Our consciousnesses are permeated by other voices and thoughts in practically every area of our lives: school, work, socialization. We deserve and critically need moments of aloneness to realize how we want to impact and interact with the world around us.
This notion is somewhat of a juxtaposition, given my outgoing nature and need for socialization. Of course, I’ve absolutely felt loneliness, and we should always strive to be inclusive, making sure everyone has a friend they can count on. I am incredibly thankful for the relationships that make my life so colorful, and for the communities that challenge and build me. But I also know the benefits of occasional aloneness and how it shouldn’t be something that anyone seeking it feels the need to justify.
